How To Be RESILIENT Without Compartmentalizing

Last week a coaching client came in with an excellent question. It's one most highly sensitive and ambitious women are going to have at some point so I think it's very worth diving into.

"How am I supposed to feel my feelings and still show up and get my work done?"

Let's assume that like my client you're on board with the idea that your sensitivity is a strength, not a curse.

That your feelings are just feelings - we don't have to fear or run from them. They're messengers from our body, mind, and soul with brilliant insights into some of our deepest needs and desires. 

You might already be working to learn new ways of feeling the feels.

You're learning to sit with them nonjudgmentally, notice their presence in your body, and even starting to move the accompanying energy through your system.

Amazing! This all means you're building a deeper trust in yourself. Your body and subconscious are learning that they're safe, that you will listen to them and they don't have to be on high alert allllll the time.

You're likely seeing that in general, you're feeling calmer, more grounded, and more at ease.

That some big uncomfortable feelings take longer to move through and others are becoming quick and easy gentle check-ins

NOTE - None of this implies you are a ball of swirly feelings. You are NOT sitting, stewing, and ruminating in them!

But what happens when a real big uncomfortable experience or feeling hits you at 10 am on a Monday morning and you swing deep into a funk?

When life throws a curveball your way and you know you're going to be in your feels for a minute. AND you have shit that needs to get done??

Experiencing your feelings as a sensitive leader doesn't make you any less of a badass b*tch!

In order to move through them so that you can honor your needs AND show up for those things that must get done, consider the following:

1. Having a proactive embodiment practice helps. When you regularly create space in your week to check-in and move feelings through your body, when the big ones hit, they're not nearly as intense. 
2. In the moment, when big uncomfortable feelings strike, BREATHE. No matter how busy you are or how much you have to get done, give yourself at least 3 minutes to practice several deep belly breaths. While this may not immediately make you feel better, it does help to activate your soothing, parasympathetic nervous system letting your body and subconscious know that even if things are uncomfortable, you are safe. Breath in and feel your belly rise, now exhale for 2x as long and feel your belly draw in. 
3. Identify what actually has to get done, cut the rest. There is not a  single responsibility that is more important than your mental health. The only thing that temporarily trumps this is if you are responsible for the safety and well-being of other humans and creatures e.g. kids, pets, or your not performing your job at that moment would directly impact another being's health and safety. Identify the bare minimum that must get done, recruit support where needed, and give yourself permission to leave the rest until you have had the opportunity to tend to your emotional health. 
4. Be ruthless with your mindset. Intentionally choose the thoughts that actively support you, don't entertain the rest. This might include focusing on your vision of your most authentic self or simply reminding yourself that you are powerful, you are strong, and you can do this. 

Being resilient in no way implies that bad things don't happen or that we put on blinders and choose toxic positivity.

Cultivating resilience means we honor our innate strength, breathe deeply, ask and receive the support we need, and we keep showing up for our big, bold visions. Because we deserve it 

You are a powerful force to be reckoned with. Don't forget to let yourself own it. <3

>>>>Questions to Sit With <<<<

1. How do I currently allow myself to move challenging feelings through my body? What might a more empowering practice be?
2. What do I believe about how my productivity is tied to my worth? What would believing that I'm worthy of taking all the time I need create in my life?
3. What thoughts have I been defaulting to that just don't serve me? What are 3 more empowering ones I could consciously choose instead?

If you've been thinking about getting support in owning your enoughness and stepping into your full power, book a free Chemistry Call here. We'll hold space for ALL of you and see if we might be a good fit to work together.